Fast Friends

The nap that just needed to happen...

The Hard Stuff

Tonight I just have to vent a bit. We are feeling overwhelmed with the mountain of problems these poor children have. So many issues to address and not knowing how we will pay to fix them (or find the time for all the appointments needed to work on them.... ) I'll just list them off:

1) Olivia seems to have no ability to use her legs. We keep trying to get her stand on us when we hold her but she just buckles and cries. She tips over easily and barley sits up. She is, however, mostly healed from the pneumonia (as far as we can tell ) but we'll do another chest x-ray in a few weeks.

2) Luke has the saddest little legs I've ever seen. One of his knees buckles inward-- we have no idea why and it makes him run in a very awkward way. They are so thin, frail and have no muscle tone. He has almost no toenails. The pediatrician thinks they were eaten by fungus and may/may not ever grow back. We figured out why he is so obsessed with always having socks on. I think he is self-conscious about it (and he has to protect his little toes)

3) Both Luke and Grace have horrible breath and if you look in their mouths, almost half their teeth are brown (I assume they're rotten but honestly, I am terrified of taking them to the dentist to hear what will have to be done.) But I'm not sure how much longer we can take the stench!

4) Grace had a fungus on her scalp while in the orphanage. It looked fine/healthy when we got her but now there is something weird on Henry's head and I'm fearful that the fungus is reappearing in the family. This is a matter of prayer-- please pray that we are not overtaken by a scalp fungus! And if you know anything about this, please write me... I am clueless.

5) As I've tried to work with the kids this week on writing letters/numbers- oh, it has been slow. I know I need to be patient.... very patient. They have never had any kind of education. But how slow they are to learn has been a bit of a disappointment to me. We Americans do so much with our kids. Our toddlers can sort shapes and colors before they walk! These guys can't do that now at age 6 and 8 (or whatever they are, we don't know). Things like using scissors, pulling up stickers off a page; being able to see if something is upside down; holding a pencil; counting plastic teddy bears.... none of that is there. I am really struggling to not be discouraged about this right now. I know I need to remember where they have been (and I don't even really know the answer to that) and that they have been raised in a place so far from my face-paced, 'intelligence-driven' culture and way of raising children. Another thing to pray about : ) I know God need to change me on this point, not them.

6) And lastly, (and I promise this is my last gripe), they are wild! Unless you can strap them to a chair (don't worry, I'm not doing that!) they run through my house and have this high-pitched Ethiopian scream and yell words that are driving me crazy! Luke constantly makes paper airplanes and propels them at us and loves any kind of gun/weapon. They constantly rumage through drawers and closets and I can't find so many things... i.e. where the heck are my orange scissors??? I know it must be because they are bored and aren't sure what to do with themselves but I don't know what to do with them either! I try to get them to sit and color and that lasts about 2 minutes. And you've heard about the 'Sesame Street' fiasco (which by the way has resulted in a constant Ethiopian-accented rendition of the 'Elmo's World' them song. And, they picked up the phrase 'check it out' which they love to scream at inappropriate times). I guess what I'm saying is that I need wisdom and creativity to figure out how to keep them busy, in a good way. There is so little that they can do and I am just out of energy and ideas.

Okay, that is my vent for tonight. Mostly, it a plea for prayer and now you know what to pray for. I know that we are in the worst of so much of this right now. So many unanswered questions, so many insecurities about the future, so much work ahead of us-- it has been daunting. But I know that God has given these children to us-- they are ours. I just need to figure out how to make it through tomorrow : )

My Twins and Their Fifth Wheel

These pictures describe the story of our photo session today. I dressed the babies in their new "Nana Outfits" and set them up on the floor. I went to get my camera and when I came back, I noticed Digory meandering over from where he was taking his nap. He then proceeded to plant himself as close to them as he could (see picture number four) and right smack in the middle of my portrait. I didn't have the heart to shove him out of the way so, here he is. But it illustrates the saga of his life at the moment-- clammoring to remain the baby of the family, but recognizing that he is now number seven and down at the bottom of the totem poll. He does, however, LOVE the kids and especially the babies. They grab a fistfull of his fur and he never even flinches-- just enjoys the attention even if it comes with a bit of pain. (notice Digory is resting his head on Olivia's leg in the last picture - so sweet.)

No English and No Naps But We're Having Fun

We have been home for 11 days now. In some ways, it feels like an eternity. The days are LONG because I am not used to being 'on' for the entire day. But, we are surviving well.

First, I want to let all my readers know about the amazing help I am getting from my friends and church. We get meals delivered to us at least every other day, sometimes more, and almost each day someone picks up laundry and then delivers it back to my house, clean and folded! I told someone that I feel like I'm riding a bike with training wheels right now and eventually, those wheels will have to come off but for now, what a relief that they are there.

We are enjoying being a family of 8. When we pack everyone into the Suburban, it is such a delight to look in my rear-view mirror and see 6 little faces looking at me. Mealtime is loud and crazy but full of fun - our table for 6 is full at last. Our new kids are great eaters. They rarely complain about anything in front of them and when they do, I just give them a look and they go on and eat whatever it is anyway. We have found that we have to cut them off, especially Mebratu, or he would eat until he makes himself sick. It has been nice, though, to have them as examples to the existing picky eaters in the family. We now have a no-tolerance policy for people who don't eat their dinner and the Ethiopians are leading the way with that.

Regarding the English speaking, we are still waiting for the words to come. My hunch at this point is that they are absorbing what we're saying and that one of these days, they might try speaking something in English. One Amharic word that has got to go is 'shint' which means 'bathroom' in English. Having them yell that in public, as happened today, is not going to work. I have tried to get them to sit in front of the t.v. to watch 'Sesame Street' (I had been advised this is a good way for them to pick up a lot of vocabulary as well as conversational English). However, Mebratu prefers to run through the house all morning playing with loud, electronic baby toys. When we 'forced' him to sit and watch it this morning-- so that I could do school quietly with Sophie and Henry upstairs-- he balled his eyes out for an entire 35 minutes. Mind boggling. I thought all kids love t.v. but now we know... Nonetheless, coerced 'Sesame Street' viewing will be on my agenda each day.

The babies are a TON of work but so much fun. We love on them and kiss on them just like we did Sophie and Henry. Bonding with them has come naturally and we see signs of attachment such as refusing the extended arms of others while burying their little faces in our shoulders; and noticing that a 'mommy sighting' (me trying to walk by without being seen) produces wailing and tears. Woohoo! They love us!

We have had a few episodes of pinching and hitting among certain family members. Again, this is so hard to sort out. Who hit who and why? I'm so afraid of falsely accusing the new kids because they cannot tell me their side but I am realizing more and more that they are not blameless, although their faces make them seem that way. So, we are slowly starting to implement discipline and it has been effective... I think. When the English comes, it will be a whole new world.

Besides the ketchup strangely appearing on the walls around the home, Olivia's daily poop blowouts (it mysteriously ends up all over her body and she's just sitting there doing nothing- how does that happen???), the drip system being pulled up from the backyard, Olivia refusing to nap more than 30 minutes at a time-- we are really doing quite well. But, please keep the prayers coming. We cannot imagine how we would be coping without them.
P.S. - Notice that I attempted matching outfits, sort of, in the picture above. That was foiled by one of the infamous Olivia poop blowouts mentioned in this post. After that, I gave up on the stripes.

America's (Not Ethiopia's), Funniest Home Videos

We are learning some fun and peculiar things about Ethiopians.

We have a family tradition of crowding onto the couch and watching America's Funniest Home Videos. We love it and typically Motte and I are laughing in tears over grandma on a pogo stick or something of that nature. However, we sat down with Tigist and Mebratu last night to introduce them to the show and it was interesting that they did not laugh much. In fact, when they did laugh I got the feeling it was only to join in with us. We had thought that humor might be universal (since our language barrier keeps us from watching anything else as a family) but it seems that in their culture, it just isn't funny to see various people 'eat it'.

In other news, the twins continue to drain the life out of us. Wow, I am really old I guess because I thought I could handle the exhaustion and raw physical work of taking care of twins better than this. Motte won't say it but I just know he is counting the days until he gets to return to his job (or 'day spa' as I like to call it). It has a lot to do with not having a schedule or really any inkling of an idea of what to do with them at any given moment. At 3:00 this afternoon, they were both crying, I couldn't remember when either of them had had a bottle or been changed and we both just said, 'now what?'. Good times. I know in my gut, though, that babies always do eventually get easier. This stage for us is really like having a newborn. You're just clueless and the cluelessness is the main cause for anxiety. Once we figure them out (it's just a double mystery at the moment), I think we will relax a little bit.

Anyway, please do pray for sleep for us and for wisdom. I apologize for the boring content here but this is the state of affairs at the moment. I'll try to report more interesting thoughts as they come up : )

We're Home!

As many of you know, we could not access our blog while in Ethiopia. We were told that the Ethiopian government blocks 'blogger'. So, I am sorry that this photo is delayed!

This is the day we picked up the children at the orphanage. Meeting them for the first time was not like we had imagined. We arrived on a bus and as we were stepping out, Tigist ran up to us and tackled us with a hug! Were were so surprised and didn't have our video ready. We had always pictured her being reserved but she was clearly counting the minutes to our arrival and she knew exactly who we were when we stepped off the bus. Mebratu, on the other hand, sort of hung back and waited for us to come to him. He was watching us but I could tell right then that he was timid. And to this day, now that we're home, it's still like that.

We went into the orphanage to complete paperwork and to meet the twins. Wondemu was asleep when they handed them to us and then Konjit fell asleep a few minutes later. We ended up leaving the twins for one extra day so that we could take the older two back to the guest house and have some special time with them, getting to know them. In hindsight, we are so glad we did this because the babies (especially Olivia Kongit) ended up being very sick and once we took custody of them, life became very difficult.

Here is an excerpt from what I wrote on facebook (our only link to the rest of the world while we were there) to let you know what happened while we were in Ethiopia:

... we have no access to email or phone here in ethiopia but i was able to get on FB on the dial up computer at the guest house. Our travelling companion (vounteer nanny) has officially bailed. She couldn't get on our flight last night from Paris (although she was supposed to be booked on it, it was overbooked and they started kicking people off. When she realized she would have to fly from paris to addis the next a.m. on her own, without us, she said she wanted to go home and forget it. we were devastated, counting on her help and many donors had paid her way (that w ill have to be settled later) we are pretty down and and really just shocked. Please pray for peace that this was God's will, that we do this alone. After arriving in Addis this a.m., 2 large pieces of luggage were gone. They have all the kids' clothes, diapers and most of the formula in them. They think they have found them in paris and they'll arrive here tues a.m. but we are supposed to get the kids on monday. please pray for wisdom on what to do. The guest house is run by very kind, sweet ethiopians. however, our room is right near the common area, it's loud, dogs bark outside the window constantly and our shower does not function yet. So, no sleep for 2 1/2 days, no shower for 3 days and wondering what we can eat and not get sick from.

To follow up on this first post, God provided by bringing our luggage to us on Monday morning rather than Tuesday. And, he gave us a strong sense that we should leave the babies for one more day at the orphanage so that we could have time with the kids. We got used to the dogs and figured out how to take a shower : ) (And did not get sick from the water as we had feared)

Here is my next post:

Finally back on line (until the power goes out!) What a crazy, hard last 48 hours. We have realized now that when we received Olivia on Tuesday afternoon, she was a very sick baby. We were told that she had a little cold but as the day wore on, her cough sounded very scary and her fever kept climbing. She was up all night and reached 106/107 fever, and breathed in a labored way we have never heard before. We called our agency and they assured us she was fine but we could take her to a doctor. At 1:30 in the am Motte headed out w/ a driver and drove threw slums to a hospital that was closed for the evening (how can that happen?) Then they found a clinic that would take her and the doctor there said she had pneumonia and prescribed an antibiotic. Another vist to the Korean Christan hospital today confirmed through a chest x ray that she has 3 areas of pneumonia in her lungs. Her fever has improved today but she is on a sleep-strike at the moment. Her breathing is still not good. So pray- that she improves significantly before tomorrow evening when our flight is supposed to leave Ethiopia and that both twins let us get more than 3-4 hours sleep tonight( we need rest before our 18 hour flight tomorrow). And, Oliver has a cold also that seems to be declining with a severe cough. Our airline may not allow her on if she is too sick and we just need to get her into the states so she can get better care. Olivia's health overall is not what we had been told. She is very small, cannot sit up at all and has little head control (she is 9 months old). We feel sad for her and know that she has lots of catching up to do, which she will do over time, but for now it is hard to see. She is strangely content to be alone and does not make a lot of eye contact- signs that attachment might be slow. So please also pray that she would have a sense/trust that we love her.Luke and Grace continue to be model citizens of Ethiopia. Still waiting for some sign of sin to kick in but so glad it hasn't (God's grace for this moment) It has been hard to leave them here at the guest house for long periods of time while we get medical care as we feel like we're neglecting them but sadly (reality) they don't seem to care much when we leave. They are just so used to being alone and on their own, I think.Anyway, we are sorry to sound so debbie-downer. This whole trip has just been plain ___(well, you fill in the blank) Nonetheless, we sense God carrying us through the fire and we know that your prayers are joined to that. Please keep them coming!!

I tear up now reading that with fresh memories of the misery. We were so afraid for Olivia and looking back now, we believe that God may have saved her life by bringing us to her at that exact time. We believe her pneumonia was not 'new' and it was threatening her life (with a 107 fever). We spent that whole night holding her and putting cold cloths on her, trying to force it down. I think our action to get the antibiotic and serious treatment (in spite of what the orphanage told us to do) could have saved her life. Nothing special about us but just having a loving parent come into the situation with an instinct that something bigger was going on is what may have saved her life.

And last, the trip home was absolutely the hardest 28 hours of my life. I would rather have given birth without an epidural than endure that! But, looking back, it was just something God wanted us to get through. We now have a severe phobia of flying with infants. I won't go into detail but the flight from Addis to DC was non-stop, 19 hours. Horrific. Projectile vomitting, hourly diarrhea from either or both twins; we ran out of diapers; ran out of formula and ran out of changes of clothes. We were surrounded by indifferent, annoyed and unhelpful people and well, it was just exhausting. However, Grace and Luke were perfect and slept and self entertained (as usual). They were great sports about it all and seemed to truly enjoy the ride at times. Again, God's grace to get through the rest of it.

We have been home almost 2 days and what a difference a few needed hours of sleep makes. We are enjoying the children so much. They are constantly running all over the house and out of breath (not used to steps I think), exploring all the toys and rooms. They love Sophie and Henry and have so much in common. Even though there is very little verbal communication, we are figuring out ways to get the message across. Children just seem to be able to relate without words. We hear squeals of delight and see Luke and Henry scrambling for the same bouncy ball in the hallway. We put them down for a 'quiet time' yesterday and Luke ended up falling asleep for 17 hours straight. I think he was just so overwhelmed and stimulated by everything new.

I have been writing this same post for 3 days ; ) Ah, life with 6 kids. So this paragraph is an update to the others. The beginning of sibling rivalry has kicked in. It was inevitable. Luke and Henry are having some territory battles but it is so hard to figure out who did what since one of them just spews out a bunch of words in defense of himself that make no sense to me at all. I need discernment!

Babies finally took naps today longer than 30 minutes. That was huge. I got a shower and a short nap myself. There is hope that my life might some day be 'normal' again! I'll update more later.

Are You Ready?

I think I've been asked this question 100 times this week. (If you're one of the people that asked me, don't feel bad, it's the obvious question to ask me right now). However, the more I've been asked the more I pause to process what I still need to do and then I'm certain there's a whole other list of things that I've failed to think of doing at all. At any rate, I'm experiencing some anxiety

Motte blogged recently about being 'ready' here. I love the shock of truth in what he said. We're getting ready for... the pain. But then one of his readers responded to his post with a beautiful quote from Prince Caspian. She reminded us of the scene when Aslan asks Caspian if he is ready to be king. Caspian answers that he doesn't think he is. And Aslan replies, "If you had thought you were ready, it would have been a sign that you were not."

I think all Christians have defining moments like this in life; when we see that we are (completely) unevenly matched with the task at hand. But this is right where God loves to have us. Because at this moment, we reqlinquish the pride in our hearts and let go of our self-sufficiency and we look up into heaven and cry out, 'God, fill me with YOU.' Then, and only then, in the power of the Lord Jesus himself, there is nothing you can't do.

We look forward to telling the story of how God pulls us through this adventure!